the woman I once was:

Every day I wake up still having to mourn the woman that I was with you. I can’t help it. I might be jealous of her. I’ve outgrown her, and that’s great, but sometimes, I still wish that the new version of me could have you, too. I wasn’t my best self when we were together, but I wanted to be. You inspired me. To want to be better. But I could never pull away from you long enough to transform. I was attached to you and off you. In love with you. Not hopelessly, but addicted enough to feel like I couldn’t live without you. I knew we weren’t going to work. I knew in my soul. My intuition warned me about the consequences that I would face at the end of this trauma bond. And I chose to be blinded to it. I wish I could go back to who I was when we were together, but she’s dead and gone now. And it leaves me stuck in a dilemma. Because the new version of me is no longer compatible with the person that you are today. We’re on two different vibrations, and I deserve to be with someone good for me. Every day I wake up still having to mourn the woman that I was with you. Because the new version of me can’t have you, no matter how much I want you. No matter how much I still love you. Because I’ve outgrown you.