EGO

The ego is a hell of a thing. Sometimes, I forget that I’m not the only one in the world. I forget that I’m not the only one with feelings and problems that need solving. I become blinded to the fact that I am not the only one who wants to be loved, experienced, and enjoyed by other people. Sometimes I genuinely lose sight of that.

Adulthood has made me more aware of it, though. And I appreciate that. Because when the ego shows up, I can identify it and get over myself, so that I can be the light that I am destined to be in this bizarre universe. When I let go of the ego, I have more room to love myself and others from a place of empathy.

It is a conscious effort to remind myself that other people are real-life humans, too. Without discrediting my own needs, of course. We are all humans who need to be hugged, kissed, and reassured. We all need to be heard, to be noticed, even when we pretend like those things don’t matter or that we can survive without them.

At times, I forget that my mom is a human. An important one at that. The other day, she told me that I don’t enjoy her cheek kisses anymore, and it made me realize that I don’t give her as much affection as I used to. It’s like I grew up and became “too old” to give my mom something so simple as a cheek kiss because I became so intertwined in my own shit. But now, I am aware of it. So, when I feel myself wanting to feed into my ego and put up a wall between us, I break it down. I fight that urge, I kiss her. Because she’s human, and she has feelings. And she wants to feel loved just as much as I do. 

And I think if we all looked at people from that perspective, we’d be a lot more compassionate because we share this world with so many other worthy human beings. And it’s so easy to get lost and feel as though we are the only ones who matter. 

The ego is a hell of a thing, it sure is.